3 Feb 97 
 
So the soup kitchen was back in action today, and so was I.  Beans &  
Franks -- a simple concoction.  I wait in fear of meatloaf week again. 
 
Another entry in the annals of people doing stupid things for inadequate 
reasons: blood pinning.  I just don't understand how men think that 
unnecessary pain proves their masculinity.  I have a theory, perhaps it 
belongs to someone else -- and considering some of the far-out things I've 
heard, this is mundane.  In the natural order of things, women have the 
lovely feminine pain of menstrual-related things and childbirth; men have  
no such causes of pain.  So they must impose some on themselves so that  
they can at least be as good as women in handling pain. 
 
Or something like that.  It's hardly a polished theory; if I cared to put  
it in a tumbler for awhile, I'm sure I could make it smoother. 
 
I remember many times of sharp extraordinary pain (or should have involved  
pain, but miraculously didn't): the time I walked into a branch and got  
the top of my mouth ripped up, the time Amy burnt me with hot oil, the  
time I swept up broken glass barefoot.  I see the dark spot of the  
undissolved graphite in my hand, remains of a pencil point lodged deep in  
there from when I stabbed my hand in the 3rd grade.  I remember my  
spectacular landing in some bushes and a wheelbarrow, after hurtling down  
a very large hill on skates.  I've given blood several times (you know,  
you get a pin when you've given one gallon), but actually it only really  
hurts when they take the needle out.  However, I'm sure all these episodes  
seem weak compared to getting a pin stuck in your flesh and rocked around  
and pressed hard. 
 
Well, I _do_ have something to challenge these macho men: have you ever 
refused novocaine at the dentists' office?  You can do it, you know.  You 
don't have to have anesthetic for the dentist to do _lots_ of things.  I 
needed to get a set of fillings done, but they were on opposite sides of 
my mouth.  Since dentists, for some reason, are loath to numb one's entire 
face (I think it would be amusing to be unable to drink or talk), they had 
to be done in two separate sessions.  The first session I spent 45 minutes 
waiting for the novocaine to kick in; and the shot totally sucks.  I 
thought, I have better things to do and I don't feel attractive when I 
come out in a permanent drool.  Besides, I always end up feeling bruised 
for a few days.  If I didn't use novocaine, I would be out in 5 minutes 
and the pain would be over just as quickly.  
 
No novocaine next time, I pronounced.   
 
The dentist said, okay. 
 
Next time I came in, the shot was ready.  I insisted on no novocaine.   
Indeed, I was out in 5 minutes.  The dentist was amazed at how still I was  
throughout the entire procedure.   
 
That was the dumbest decision I have ever made.  It hurt like hell.  You  
better believe I sat still, I did not want any more pain than I had  
already incurred.  Once started, it was a little to late to ask for local.   
 
So here is an easy test of your manhood, guys: refuse anesthetic when  
getting your teeth drilled.  See if you flinch.  Let's see how you handle  
real pain. 
 
Unfortunately, the dentist would be one's only audience.  And though a 
nerve is directly hit, there are no visible marks of one's ordeal.  I 
think that my idea of a new kind of passage into adulthood wouldn't be 
popular in the Marines; I suppose that men, in proving their masculinity, 
need a nice show of blood and scars so they can perpetuate their little 
game of "mine is bigger than yours".