20 Dec 96 
 
Hey buckeroos, I don't feel like writing anything new so my comments on  
Weekly World News will have to wait until next year.  All I will say is  
that I'd love to be a writer for them.  It would be a fabulous job. 
 
So instead of creating something new, I am posting my family's holiday  
newsletter.  Anyone who is likely to be reading this has probably already  
seen it.  But you never know. 
 
So I leave at the grand hour of 6 tomorrow morning.  Yeah! 
 
Here goes: 
 
It's the wacky, wonderful, Campbell-Wright Christmas Newsletter! 
(duh duh da da de da da dum!) 
 
It's been a jam-packed year for your favorite Tarheels as they attempt to  
astound and amaze all their relations -- 
 
Marvel -- at the globe-trotting exploits of this family-on-the-go! 
 
Stagger -- at how they take a licking and keep on ticking! 
 
Drool -- at the excessive decadence in which they wallow! 
 
 
We open our story with a status report on their old Raleigh homestead.   
Buffetted by unusual amounts of snow at the beginning of the year, the  
house and its surroundings managed to get through the harsh winter.   
However, this was just the beginnings of the trials of the Wood Valley  
abode.  On Mary Pat's graduation day (as well as Carey's prom night),  
microbursts swirled through the area, ripping the roof of a nearby airport  
terminal and uprooting a couple large trees in the back.  The house soon  
recovered, and later in the year, bushes and flowers were planted.  But  
little did they know that Hurricane Fran was lurking around the corner. 
 
After a false alarm with Hurricane Hortense, Fran swept in like a bat out  
of Hell (more appropriate than you yet realize...) making mush of the  
wonderful landscaping and clearing out the mini-forest behind the house.   
Alice survived through 9 days of no power (but the telephone worked),  
spending her time playing solitaire by candlelight and keeping the big  
furry dogs from sharing her bed in the oppressive mugginess.  For all  
those who did not call during this ordeal, rest assured Alice is just fine  
now, thank you. 
 
Then events took a turn for the weirder.  Thinking that the mysterious  
piles of droppings outside the garage door came from rude field mice,  
little did Alice and John suspect they were sharing their attic with 50  
small bats.  They called in the Batman (TM) and he flushed those suckers  
out of there.   
 
Now the house has relaxed back to its settled state. 
 
Not that the family has spent too much time in it this year...Yes, those  
Campbells & Wright sure do get around.... 
 
We open the year with Mary Pat's trip to a math conference in Orlando, 
staying with Grandma & Grandpa Cook, meeting old friends and getting 
bugged by the secretive National Security Agency.  Then the family partied 
down at Kelli's fabulous wedding in scenic Kansas City.  During the 
spring, Mary Pat checked out various graduate schools in boring Boston, 
icy Ithaca, and nifty New York City.  Amy tooled around in her snazzy MR2, 
visiting many American hot spots -- vacationing in the Florida Keys, 
attending a shag contest in DC with her roommate Shea, and hanging out at 
Grandma Campbell's.  
 
But this was not enough for the leisure-hungry group. 
 
Further descending into the murky depths of self-gratification, John, 
Alice, and Mary Pat drifted around the East Caribbean on the floating bar 
called the Carnival Cruise Ship Fascination.  They participated in a wide 
range of activities, from a beach party on Barbados to a tour of the rain 
forest of Dominica, from snorkeling at St. Thomas to racing Dennis 
Connor's America's Cup sailboat around St. Maarten.  They also got to do 
the macarena almost every night.  And yet, Mary Pat was still not 
satisfied, extending her travels to a tour of England, visiting sites 
associated with various literary figures like Wordsworth, Austen, Dickens, 
and the Brontes.  Mary Pat swears she bought a teddy bear for Ma, but she 
lost it.  
 
Carey has also been out to see the world, taking a three-week trip around  
America with Westward Bound, glorying in the grandeur of Grand Canyon and  
buying jeans about everywhere, including Salt Lake City.  This fall, Carey  
has traveled around with Ma checking out Davidson College, Duke  
University, and Wake Forest University.  It's going to be a close call! 
 
John is gone during most of the week, checking out new places to take  
Alice to. 
 
And what about the dogs?  Well, Dixie and Daisy haven't been doing any  
traveling, and they're still fat.  The latest development in their lives  
is an appetite for chomping carrots. 
 
But I've only started to tell you about every little thing going on in our  
lives! 
 
Carey tried out the world of math inquiry this summer in a program at N.C.  
State, but now she's on to bigger and better things!  She's involved in a  
mentorship studying a "freaky looking" skin disease "caused by weak cross  
links in the collagen" (her words, folks!) in addition to a leadership  
seminar, a women's lit study, physics, statistics, and much, much, more! 
 
Amy tried her hand in telemarketing this summer, while kicking ass in her  
summer school classes.  Noting the glut of business majors, she's changed  
over to accounting -- not too long from now, the Campbell family taxes  
will be figured out by Amy Campbell, C.P.A.! 
 
Mary Pat is a Ph.D. student in the math department at New York University,  
immersing herself in the hedonistic atmosphere of Greenwich Village.   
She's already one of the main cooks in the nearby soup kitchen, knowing  
that her ability to fry up 50 lbs of ground beef will come in handy one  
day.  In her free time, she goes to bars with fellow students and  
discusses controversial theorems -- watch out, Mary, you could get in  
trouble for that some day! 
 
After 6 years of work at Carolina Foot Specialists, Alice is finally  
taking off all Fridays, and as stated earlier, John is just trucking  
along, taking the occasional business trip to Canada or Mexico. 
 
And there you have it folks, the amazing story of 1996!  Contributions  
supporting the continuation of this wonderful life for the family would be  
greatly appreciated at any time.  With your contribution, you'll get the  
privelege to be the first to know how wonderful the Wright and Campbells  
are doing! 
 
Merry Christmas and a Happy 1997!