1 Oct 96 
 
_I_ should write comic books.   
 
...and so the mild-mannered Billy Jo found herself alone once more and  
knew it was time to start work again.  With a mighty roar she used her  
ancient invocation: 
 
B  A  Z  A  A  R !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 
and was transformed, by the Grand Union of Market Forces, into  
			CAPTAIN MARKET!   
 
She summoned Generic Boy, who quickly trotted up in his stylish white body  
suit (with "BOY" written sans serif in large black letters on his chest.) 
 
"Greetings, superhero." 
 
"Hello, Generic Boy, what's on the shopping list today?" 
 
"Well, after ridding the city of the horrible villain, Bate N. Switch, I'm  
not sure...Perhaps we should ask the nourishment feline?" 
 
Captain Market pulled out her cellular phone and used quick dial.  "Hey,  
Food Lion, anything you see needing taking care of?" 
 
"Well, Captain Market, I've heard one of the Mighty Marts is moving in on  
the Village..." 
 
One of the Mighty Marts!  Captain Market thought she had contained those  
in the big wasteland of Lower Urbia, and to think of the horror that one  
of them mighty be putting its heavy foot down in the delicately detailed  
and niched Village of the Blue Warlock.  Alas, what was she to do? 
 
"Oh, I wish I still carried the Arm & Hammer of the mighty Stor!"  But  
knowing that Stor came from a different pantheon (and also had the bad  
habit of misplacing his stuff), she had dutifully dropped it off at the  
Celestial Lost-and-Found. 
 
"Well, Generic Boy, any ideas?" 
 
Tune in next time, when the slave fields of the Mighty Marts go up in  
flames worldwide and Captain Market does hand-to-hand combat with the  
protector of the Mighty Marts -- Sappy Lee! 
 
Anyway, that was inspired by the crap that Brad lugged over a week ago.  I  
can go on and on with derivative creativity.  It's my specialty. 
 
Though I don't have enough time to do ballroom dancing anymore, I think  
the exercise of soup kitchen serving will replace it nicely.  Scurry,  
scurry, scurry.  I watched one scene being filmed in the park yesterday.   
It involved a guy dressed in natty circus ringmaster clothes and a little  
monkey jumping on his back.  I'm not sure I was supposed to be able to get  
in that close, but I think all the extras were inside the ring and there  
were plenty of bored onlookers watching a guy yelling "Greta! Greta! Come  
back baby!"  I have no clue what all this means. 
 
I also fed the birds with extremely stale bread.  I had burnt the bread  
when I was toasting it and it had been sitting on my counter for a week.   
There was no mold, but the bread had turned from crisp to spongy.  Creepy.