26 Feb 01 
 
It's too easy to launch a philippic on "What is Wrong With America/The 
World/You, You Loathsome Sinner/Entertainment/My Big Toe/etc. Today".  As in 
yesterday's readings, one will be berated for hypocrisy if one points out the 
faults of others, while one's own are plainly there for others to view.  
 
That being said, I =do= know many of my shortcomings, or problems, though some 
have to do with perception.  I know I am abrasive and argumentative, but 
because I enjoy arguing so much and have no scruples when it comes to arguing 
either side of a question, many people do not know when I am arguing in 
earnest or not.  And, I know, quibbling on every point is usually not fun to 
other people.  So perhaps I should restrict quibbling activities to quibbling 
with myself; unfortunately, I don't find that as fun, because I know all my 
own moves.  It's like trying to play bridge against one's self.   
 
Hidden information is always essential in any battle of any kind.  Trying to 
get the most information out of one's opponent, while keeping one's own under 
wraps, is a vital game.  That's why all this squawking about Robert Hanssen 
(should I be reading this at a later date, Mr. Hanssen was a Russian mole in 
the FBI counterintelligence division) doesn't impress me.  While I deplore the 
deaths of Russian double-agents as the result of his "betrayal", I have little 
sympathy for the FBI.  The indignation they show for public consumption is a 
little disingenuous considering the CIA has its own plants in other countries, 
even in those, I dare say, supposedly "friends".  "Why is Russia still spying 
on us?"  Well, for crying out loud, we're still spying on them.  If the CIA 
does =not= have any double agents in Russia, then I have a much lower opinion 
of them.  It is the job of an intelligence agency to gather intelligence!  It 
matters not whether this information comes from allies, enemies, neutrals, 
what have you.  Nationalism is a weak card to play now in America, and the 
only reaction one may get is that of deaths that have resulted from 
Mr. Hanssen's activities.  Loss of "vital information" is the purview of these 
intelligence agencies, and if they can't do their jobs effectively, they need 
to be able to figure out how to do this.   
 
But back to my idea of my original tirade, being narcissicism (I just can't 
spell that word).  So much of art and entertainment nowadays smacks of putting 
a mirror in front of the viewer's face and behind their head, so that all they 
see is a repeating column of heads, each one farther away and a little 
fuzzier.  So few are interested in seeing other people; I am amazed the number 
of times I am required to explain someone else's point of view to people (not 
necessarily my own).   
 
I remember the Brickyard Preacher at State, so off-putting in his language and 
theology, being ridiculed by most students and definitely by most of my 
friends.  And I understand the ridicule; but most attributed his preaching 
activities to hate.  Yes, Rev. Birdsong hated what he saw as the sinful 
activities of the college-associated, but more than anything else I saw he was 
driven to try to save these same people from what he saw as their current 
otherworldly destination.  Consider this: suppose you are a person who 
believes that anybody who does not wear a beanie on their head will surely die 
and burn in the eternal flames of damnation.  You see all these people around 
you with heads bare of beanies.  What do you do?  If you hate the people, you 
don't warn them of their beanieless doom; if you care about them, you try to 
convince them of the merits of beanie-wearing.  Now, I felt sorry for these 
fire-and-brimstoners, because I knew they so wanted to convert people, but 
their very line of attack prevented their goal from ever being achieved.  Yes, 
other psychological factors may have also driven them, but truthfully I do not 
care to delve into other people's psyches and their unavowed motives.  The 
truth of the matter is, evangelists believe their path is the only way to 
salvation, and out of concern for others' welfare, they wish to convince 
others of this fact.  Sometimes they are successful, sometimes they are 
not.  Many not-so-vehement religious people are made uncomfortable by these 
people -- if they believe their religion to be right (and why invest all that 
physical and psychical time if not), should not others be convinced of this 
for their own spiritual well-being?   
 
Anyway, I'm tired of people seeing things from their own point of view 
only.  Art is supposed to hold a mirror up to Nature... (not all of it at the 
same time, assuredly) ... that mirror is of not much use if it's always held 
at the same angle.   
 
In other news, I have put up a little page at the Amazon Honor System 
place.  I figure that I like money, and other people may wish to give me 
money, so who am I to make it difficult for them?  As well, I have greatly 
benefitted from Amazon.com's Out of Print service (I've gotten 4 out-of-print 
books through them), and though it's their own fault that they're not making 
enough money from the services they do provide (hint: one needs to sell things 
at a price =higher= than what it costs you!) I don't mind sending a few cents 
their way.  So I took a few words of advice from the Gospel "Ask, and you 
shall receive", or to take a look at the inverse: "If you don't ask, you won't 
receive."  How true that is.  So, in addition to asking for livejournal 
groupies (which I got), I ask for money (of which I've also gotten a bit, but  
don't let that keep you from giving more....) 
 
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